Being Me – Mostly Authentically

I have a friend. I like her. She’s pretty cool. An introvert (birds of a feather flock in large packs of one). She’s married, has kids, and a cat. She and I sometimes have long conversations. Sometimes just a look and a laugh.

She’s a health coach. What is that? No clue. I’m not sure she knows either. I know part of it is encouraging people to “live authentically.” Not her words. She’s more down to earth than that. It just means, Be yourself and have fun. Ha! I just connected that as one of the best pieces of advice my mom gave me as I was going into college and doing new things. Well, mom, it was easier back then, before marriage and kids, jobs and social “events” but twenty plus years later, I’m doing it again. LOL

My Health Coach friend got me really focused on writing. I raised kids and sort of forgot all of the stuff I loved doing. It was a horrible disservice to my family because I was stressed and cranky a lot. I’m glad they showed me grace and unconditional love. 😀 Thanks, guys. 😀 I love you. 😀

Sorry, I digress. 😉

I find that being myself is really hard. I’m afraid. I’m afraid of offending people (not that I’m offensive but because people can be very sensitive to their own insecurities). I’m afraid of going the wrong direction. (I see a direction that I feel is right for me, but then I start freaking out that maybe it’s not, maybe that’s not the path I’m supposed to take, even though there’s only one and my name is in blinking lights with arrows pointing to it. I still worry that all of that hoopla is pointing out the bad road. Whew, I’ll step away from that now. I’ve probably shared enough of that fear.) I’m afraid of failure though I’ll admit, that one doesn’t worry me as much. Humiliation on the other hand scares the stuffing out of me.

I have noticed in my own experience (and this may not be your experience) that I can trust that whatever path I wander, something good will come, or I’ll be diverted to another direction.

So, I step – one foot in front of the other (and slightly to the side of because if they were right in front of then I’d probably trip over myself) and move. Maybe I’ll go in circles, or wander in a zigzag or wavy path. I might trip and fall or just drop to the ground and throw a tantrum but I’ll get up again and move again. Sometimes I’ll just be taking a breather. There’ll be times I’ll travel with a group and times I’ll be alone. But I’ll keep moving. Momentum. But that’s another topic for another day.

I probably wandered a lot in this. It was that wavy path I just mentioned. 😉

By the way, the pic isn’t actually me. But it definitely makes one of the inner mes very happy.

So are you moving or taking a breather?

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2 Comments

  1. Great post! I need to remind myself to take breathers because I tend to do a lot. Breathers are great because one can reflect otherwise it can be constant mindless motion.

    1. Oh, so true. That mindless stuff. Or just half-there. I heard one time, you need to be a human being rather than a human doing sometimes. LOL

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